The other night Anthony said something to me that was very hurtful. Charles had taken them over to a friend of his kinda late because he was leaving the next day for 4 days and wanted to spend some time with them. Well they didn't get home until 10 and this is way past their supposed bedtime. So they get out and I hug them and I say to get inside and brush their teeth. Anthony says "Dad said we could cricket hunt when we get home" and I say "I don't think Dad knew how late it was when he said that" and Anthony said "I knew you would ruin all the fun, you always ruin all the fun". I almost started crying right there but instead I went upstairs to bed and cried. I let Charles put them to bed and didn't even say good night. Then the next day we were watching some Disney movie about Halloween town and the mom was telling the daughter she had to go back to the mortal world and couldn't fly around on a broom stick. Michael turns to me and says "She sounds like you, always ending the fun". I told him that Moms do what is best for their child and not what is fun. But that is not something a 6 year old cares to understand.
I don't want to be the bad guy. But I am. And I hate it. I want to be the fun one. The one they can't wait to see. I want to be the one that never says no. But that is not my role in this family and I really don't know how to change it. Well I kinda know. I could just not care about rules or sleep or nutrition. I could not care if my children turn out to be rude, ill mannered little monsters. Then I would be fun. But for some reason I can't do this. Why can't I just let go of the rules?
I really really wish we could be equally the bad guy. I wish he could make them do their homework. I wish he could make them eat their veggies or fruit. I wish he could tell them to pick up. Don't get me wrong. He does occasionally back me up and even has disciplined them for things. But he doesn't help with the mundane routine tasks of life that my boys think I am inflicting on them.
I am thinking that maybe I should be in charge of somethings and Charles in charge of others. For example, I am in charge of making them pick up, brush their teeth, and homework and he could be in charge of making them eat something, playing nicely with their sister etc. I don't know. All I know is I don't want to be the wicked witch of the west.
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2 comments:
WOW!! Me & my husband JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION!!! I do all the getting ready for bed, making sure medicine is taken, etc. THATS WHAT WE DO... we aren't CAPABLE of NEGLECT!!! and I believe that our GUYS aren't either. I Think they KNOW IT WILL GET DONE!!! I've had to get better at ASKING. he doesn't mind...but guys are NOT MIND READERS and don't KNOW OVERWHELMED if it hit them in the eyes!!! YOUR A AWESOME MOM!!! Kids do go through this (as much as it sucks) BELIEVE ME, EVERYBODY LOVES THEIR MOTHER (most do :)
Oh, wow, I'm sure those words hurt you terribly. They'd do the same for me.
Sounds like you definitely need to have a heart to heart with your hubby. It's hard when you are home with your kids more than your husband...you always end up being the disciplinarian. It's hardly fair. I hope you guys can work something out so you're not always made out to be the bad guy!
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