Saturday, July 21, 2007


Isn't it horrifying what cancer can do:


Soooooo Hilarious and true!

Where to Live After Retirement

You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

5. You know that " dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where...

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

You can Live in New York City where...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

3. You think Central Park is "nature,"
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

5. You've worn out a car horn.

6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.

Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

You can live in Colorado where...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

AND You can live in Florida where..

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Why am I the bad guy?

The other night Anthony said something to me that was very hurtful. Charles had taken them over to a friend of his kinda late because he was leaving the next day for 4 days and wanted to spend some time with them. Well they didn't get home until 10 and this is way past their supposed bedtime. So they get out and I hug them and I say to get inside and brush their teeth. Anthony says "Dad said we could cricket hunt when we get home" and I say "I don't think Dad knew how late it was when he said that" and Anthony said "I knew you would ruin all the fun, you always ruin all the fun". I almost started crying right there but instead I went upstairs to bed and cried. I let Charles put them to bed and didn't even say good night. Then the next day we were watching some Disney movie about Halloween town and the mom was telling the daughter she had to go back to the mortal world and couldn't fly around on a broom stick. Michael turns to me and says "She sounds like you, always ending the fun". I told him that Moms do what is best for their child and not what is fun. But that is not something a 6 year old cares to understand.

I don't want to be the bad guy. But I am. And I hate it. I want to be the fun one. The one they can't wait to see. I want to be the one that never says no. But that is not my role in this family and I really don't know how to change it. Well I kinda know. I could just not care about rules or sleep or nutrition. I could not care if my children turn out to be rude, ill mannered little monsters. Then I would be fun. But for some reason I can't do this. Why can't I just let go of the rules?

I really really wish we could be equally the bad guy. I wish he could make them do their homework. I wish he could make them eat their veggies or fruit. I wish he could tell them to pick up. Don't get me wrong. He does occasionally back me up and even has disciplined them for things. But he doesn't help with the mundane routine tasks of life that my boys think I am inflicting on them.

I am thinking that maybe I should be in charge of somethings and Charles in charge of others. For example, I am in charge of making them pick up, brush their teeth, and homework and he could be in charge of making them eat something, playing nicely with their sister etc. I don't know. All I know is I don't want to be the wicked witch of the west.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

All alone with 3 monsters

Charles left on a fishing trip for 4 days. I am stuck here trying to keep the kids from killing each other. Fun times.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

So True

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and!
wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3 rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby : Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Hey sleep, come to my house!

Sleep does not exist at my house. It seems lately that everyone is having a hard time getting some. I have always slept horribly since I was very little. And I am guessing I passed this trait on to my offspring. One thing that contributes to my lack of sleep is the time I actually go to sleep. Every night I say I am going to be early. But then all the kids are asleep late and I want at least two hours to myself with no one bothering me. So I end up in bed around 11:30 and fall asleep around midnight. Then Emmy wakes up at least twice a night and bangs her head against her mirrored closet doors. This makes a very loud sound so I have to go in there, put her back in bed, and rub her back until she goes back to sleep. Then Anthony wakes up and announces he has to pee which wakes me up. Then he wakes up an hour later, 6 am because he is sooooo excited his best friend is coming over today to go swimming. He refuses to go back to sleep but I make him stay in his bed. Then Emmy starts rocking against her mirrored doors (waking from all the commotion with Anthony) so Charles, who is awake getting ready for work, gets her and brings her back to our bed where she falls back asleep. And I am now left here to clean the house before our guests arrive with no sleep and grumpy kids. I could only dream of a night where I actually went to sleep and didn't wake up til the morning.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

When does school start back up?

Not soon enough. Keeping all 3 of the kids from killing each other has taken up most of my energy. Every two seconds someone is screaming that Emmy took their toy or Emmy is screaming because they won't share. It is so friggin hot out that I don't want to take them to a park but it is obvious that they NEED to get out. They do go swimming but it is hard because I have to sit there and watch them when I could be doing other things.

This whole thing has me uninspired and makes Charles mad at me. He says he is tired of seeing me mope around. I am just giving up on this week. Tomorrow is the 4th and we don't have much planned. We may go to my BILs and hang but it is really difficult cuz they have an ungated pool so it really isn't relaxing for me. After being at my brothers (Emmy tried to jump in the jacuzzi without her floaties on) I just don't feel like chasing her around for hours. Plus their pool has different levels and you can't see the surface of the water very well. Stressfull.

Things to look forward to. I am getting a cut and color that is lonnnnnng over due on thursday night. Maybe that will lift my spirits. Plus Charles is taking the boys with him to Fresno Friday morning to visit his best friend for the weekend. So a little less fighting for a couple of days. I also have Friday to look forward to kinda. I have book club and since Charles will be gone Emmy is going to spend the night at my MILs. But I do have to make a pasta salad that they will all like which is hard because a couple of them only eat organic and one is a vegetarian so I am really struggling with finding a recipe that they will all find suitable.

So in conclusion I am feeling blahhhh but am hoping that next week will be a new beginning and I will get out of this funk. And I also hate this friggin heat. The end.

Monday, July 2, 2007