Black Cloud

Sometimes I feel like a black cloud is hovering over us. First my extended family is falling apart. Then my boys are struggling with school already. Anthony in particular has completely shut down when he sees a math page. As I sit with him during homework I watch him struggle to focus on each problem. He hits himself in the head and makes odd noises. If I don't help him look down at the problem he would never do it. He has a hard time answering the simplest problems like 4-1 . The school is going to do a long list of tests on both the boys. Those results won't be in for a couple of months. So in the mean time they go to school. They struggle and fail everyday. Their self esteem is being chipped away at. My heart is so heavy. I have so much information but don't know where to start. And on top of all of that I occasionally find myself saying "Why?" . I realize that it is counter productive to spend time wondering why this is happening to them. But none the less it does pop in my head. All this on my plate and constant worrying is paralyzing me. I have a hard time eating and doing things like laundry and dishes. I am going to have to force myself today to get through.